Spring 2010

It was 60 degrees last Friday. On Sunday, it snowed. After a long winter with nothing to do outside except for cold, lonely walks, it is nice to have a glimpse of the fair weather ahead.

I am still unemployed. Seven months have gone by in a flash, with each day somehow longer than it should be. I am still waiting to hear back from WMU about grad school. I feel like I should be an obvious choice for admittance, but I have little hope that things will turn out how I hope. WMU, and Michigan, have little funding for students right now, so even if I do get in, it will not be an easy ride.

I have been baking and roasting and cooking many yummy foods, but lately a lot of bread. There is a certain glamor to baking the stuff of life. I feel like there is some obvious nutritional system that I am oblivious to, wherein eating healthy is simple.

Out of nowhere, Bear suddenly likes to play rough. Everyone in the apartment now has red scratches on the backs of their hands. Sometimes I worry that he may be sick, but I don’t have any money for a vet.


the hummingtoad

this is an rpg i am writing to play with my girlfriend Continue Reading »

Zodiac Dreams

This is a game idea I have been kicking around in my head for a while. Of course, the plot is thin, and I am not a programmer. It is probably not as good as the shitty games that are being made today. This post is so I can have it written down so I don’t forget about it. Continue Reading »

Personal sin

A personal sin is a sin against another. In a world of no sin this is a bother. Sin is guilt from your mother. Sin is guilt from your father.

A personal sin is a sin against another. In a world without sin, this is a problem.

It’s not the sin that causes the burden. It is the knowledge that you have hurt someone. To let them down, to break what they thought was good about you. If they had no knowledge of you, it wouldn’t be sin. To expect nothing of you, it would not be sin. Thus how we act is consistent – there is no double standard or prejudices. We act with regard to how we are expected to act. To sin is to act outside of this expectation.

We know sin by the guilt and shame we are given. If we were given no guilt, we would live without sin. But who would give no guilt? Who would not care what we did, live or die, pain or pleasure, intent or accident? An fruit with no flavor or juice is worthless. We try to be the perfect fruit, having not too little or too much juice and flavor.

“For all have sinned and fallen short of glory” but who’s glory? The glory of others. Each other has an individual glory to give, and many of them cannot agree. Some give glory while others give guilt, sin. We cannot sin against no one, unless no one knows us or expects from us. To live without sin is to not live.

Do we cause others to sin? In the same light that our sin comes from abusing the expectations of others, so do our expectations cause others to sin. So what then? Knowing that we cause others to sin, should we seek to stop it? To do so we must cease our expectations, and open our minds to acceptance of all things. We may say to ourselves that our expectations create nothing good, and we must see the world as a river that carries all things past us, regardless of what we expect. But what good does this do us, or anyone else?

Mary Claire

Of course she didn’t recognize me when I connected to her. She looked at me a moment, her head askance, then said “We were Childs together. Right? Or shortly thereafter?” She was right. We had trained together in the same cohort, although we only met briefly through mutual acquaintances at the very end of our childness. There had never been a connection or even an exchange, merely an acknowledgment.

“Mary,” I began. “Do you believe what they say about dreams?” Continue Reading »

Davi Echlert, 50,000

“Davi, I need an Index by Monday.” said the office manager. “My Monday, in two of my cycles. If I don’t have it by then, my presenting of ideals to the dodecahedron will be worthless.”
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Towen and Child

“Child, I am home,” called Towen. The child shambled into view and looked up into Towen’s face.

“I have not yet completed the module because I have been fighting with the cohort from 400 today,” said the child. “I caution against retaliation because it would severely hinder my growth as a human.”
Continue Reading »